Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Tears
It was inevitable wasn't it? The tears, from me that is. Why don't I have enough milk for my hungry baby? Am I not holding him enough? Am I being cruel trying to get him to settle in the cot - should I just hold him untill he falls asleep? Why does he smile at Brad as soon as he sees him, yet only a second before was grizzling at me? Why do I still have a huge jiggly belly? Why did Brad have to go back to work so soon? Just two days ago I was happy for him to go back, now here I am wishing he was home. Thank God for understanding sisters in law (Angie and Sharon). i had no intention of crying when I picked up the phone to let Angie know I was so happy their house was close to selling, but as soon as I heard her voice the tears came - and out it all poured. Meanwhile Jackson is in the cot sleeping, oblivious to my crisis. From the cot come a few grizzles, just to let me know he is not happy about the whole cot thing, then its back to sleep. Logically I know he is doing well, he is healthy and happy and sleeps well - but when I put him down for his nap during the day he starts crying straight away, even though just before I put him down he was calm and yawning. I hate to hear him cry and want to pick him up to sooth him, but on the same hand I don't want to pick him up as I know he is just tired and a little bit of crying is not going to hurt him any - is it? don't answer that anyone. anyway right now he is sleeping and looks like and angel sent from heaven.
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4 comments:
Oh Christal! I do feel your tears! And, I'm here to tell you, it's not any easier with number 4! Somedays, like yesterday, she is rarely even put down to avoid the cries (both hers and mine). Please feel free to call or email me as we are probably going through a lot of the same emotions at this time. I may not have an answer for you, but I can sure empathize!
I think Jackson is a spitting image of Brad...WOW! What wonderful pictures! He is precious!
Take care.... Love ya, Sharon
I didn't think Jackson looked so much like Brad at first but that opinion has changed!
Sorry you're feeling blue these days but am glad that Sharon and Angie are there for you. And, I'm sure you're doing everything perfectly.
Thanks Sharon and Vicki, I am feeling much better after a dinner and night out with my friends and gained a bit more perspective. At the loud curry house he slept the entire time which impressed everyone - Brad and me especially! I think he is looking more and more like a Harris family baby all the time too!
Anyone who's ever been a mother understands completely. A friend of mine called me on the first day Allen went back to work, just to see how I was doing. I was already in tears when she called. It helped so much to talk to another mom. Anytime, Christal. Love you.
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